Bullying, Who's the Real Bully?

Haven't been able to sleep. Their are so many things on my mind. I've just found out my oldest son is being bullied. No let me correct myself, has been bullied since school started. Wow, I didn't expect that. We are now in March, with less than three more months of school, and I am just finding this out. The reason I'm just finding out, is the offender used force on my son, and I was called to the school. I can't believe I am calling a student an offender, but that is the name they are given, when they decide to bully other people. I must admit, and I know I'm wrong, but my first instinct was to give the other child a good ole butt spanking, but that's not my child, and I wouldn't be any better than the offender, if I put my hands on him. First let me say, I don't condone bullying, because I was bullied in school. I was bullied from elementary school, up until I graduated from high school, now I have to deal with one of my sons being bullied. Most parents don't want to see their children go through the same experienced, they went through. Especially if it was a bad experience. I know first hand, what it feels like. Upset, depressed, close mouthed, when asked how school is from anybody. Trying to laugh it off with the other students, as though I'm fine with the name calling. Trying to fit in. I've dealt with all of it when I was in school, so I know what he is going through. My first concern was why didn't he say something, when I asked him everyday if he is being bullied. I don't know why I had concerns about that, call it mother's intuition, call it whatever you want, but deep down inside I knew something wasn't right with my child. I'm very involved with every aspect of my kids life. Numerous times I've sat down with my son, and watch Youtube videos of kids being bullied, and explained to my son how wrong bullying is, and what I had to go through when it was done to me. This breaks my heart just writing about it. I'm crying and remembering everything I went through, and so so sorry my son has to go through the same thing. Most parents wants to protect his/her child/children, when something like this happens, but it's tearing me up to know he has to walk in my foot steps, because some people get off on downgrading others. I've always told my kids, if they can't come to me with some of there problems, go to any family member and talk about it. "Don't hold it in," I would constantly tell them. When I sat my son down, and asked him what was the definition of bullying, I understood why he didn't say anything. He found the offender's constant name calling, an annoyance, more than he felt it was bullying. I had to explain to my son, he was being bullied, and what bullying was. Now this is one of the questions I have for my self, "Did I drop the ball, because my son did not recognize he was being bullied?" Another question, "When did it come to a point where some of our kids, are labeled as offenders, when they are only nine, ten, and eleven year old's?" When the school called me to let me know the offender had used forced on my child, I asked the school to set up a school meeting with the offenders parents. Now this is the part where I had a big problem with. The school DENIED me a meeting. I took every avenue I could think of, to meet this boy's parents, and after five days, and leaving my name and number with complete strangers, the offenders mother called me. She had no idea this was going on. The school down played it to her, when I took it very seriously. I really didn't get any remorse from her when speaking to her, and since I didn't get any remorse, I told her her apology was not acceptable. I asked her if she could tell her son to stay away from my son, and stop the name calling. I had to let this parent know, what her son was doing to my son, was bullying.  I can say we did not argue with each other. We listened to each other, said what we had to say, and that was it. My main purpose in speaking with the parents, was to find out a little bit about the child. I don't know if he's having family problems, and he's taking it out on my son. I don't know if he's going through emotional problems. The offenders mother stated how she's working and she's having problems with her boss. I don't know if he's hearing, or seeing something in his mother, and taking his mother's frustrations out on my son. I don't know. Now I need to ask another question, "Why didn't the school set up a meeting?" Never got an answer from them. I took matters into my own hands, and went online and filled out a Anti-Bullying Form on behave of my son, seeking a full investigation. Do I expect much to come of this? No. And this is sad. For me to feel this way, and I'm sure I'm not the only parent this has happened to, but to know not to expect anything to be done about this, it's sad. I feel as though I have to choose between a education for my kids, or their safety. My worries now, is the safety of my kids, when I drop them off at school. For my oldest son's school, the whole middle school, only has two security guards. When did having security at schools now become a necessity? Because when my son was assaulted, their was no security guard around. Every teacher who knows my son, complemented me on how smart, and well mannered my son is, and that's good and all, but what happens if my son is seriously injured. I send my son to school to learn, and I'm more fearful each day he's there. I make sure my cell phone is charged, and keep it by my side every second. Wondering. Hoping everything is okay.
There are so many questions, I need help with.
When will it stop?
Why my child? Why any child, has to go through this?
Did I make the right choice, by reaching out to the offenders parents?
Why do I have to choose between an education for my son, or his safety?
Do every school have an Anti-Bullying Program for those who are being bullied?
How do we as parents help those who don't have someone to talk to about this?
There are too many questions.
To all the parents out there, please please be involved in your child's life. It's so important. You might help save your child's life, and another life.

Be good, and kind to one another.

What are our outlets for writers block?

I'm back. lol  I've been so busy. You would not believe what I go through on a day to day basis. The reason I don't blog much is because a known writer said, "If you want to be a great writer, stay off twitter and facebook, and write the best stories you can." I think this is very good advice. Like I said before, I'm not much of a blogger, but not being on twitter has been hard. I enjoy interacting with the people I follow. They are so supportive. I appreciate every mention, and retweet they give me. Thank you.

I'm ready to put up my third book, Chocolate Sweets, but I have to wait for the book cover. I'm so impatient. Come on already (I hope my sister does not see this. She's my book designer). I am still donating my profits to TNNOD.org, but I can't donate unless my profits reach a hundred dollars on Amazon, so if you don't have any of my books, go out and buy (Please). I will only do this for my first payment. (I'm a single mother, barely making ends meet. Don't judge me)

I've been dealing with writer's block on how to finish my fourth book, the sequel to The Perfect Stranger. Excuse my language, but writer's block sucks ass. How do you deal with it? When does it go away? My mind is on so many things. Will my books already posted sell? Should I tweet about it, or let people find it on their own? I'm so worried about those books, that self doubt has set in, and I don't know how to write about what I'm so passionate about anymore, and those are other stories, I want to tell. Should I have waited to post my books. I come down so hard on myself. We are our own worst critic. I know I should let it go, but I can't forget my mistakes. There's that fear it will happen again. Depression is starting to set in. Ugh!

T.V. Time-I'm now watching the Voice. The talent is amazing. Wondering which team is going to come out strong. I like this better than American Idol. People watch AI for JLo. She gets enough attention already, I am not trying to give her anymore than she already has (And no I'm not hating). I don't watch a lot of reality t.v., but I love competition.

I just want to say, how sorry I am for all those states dealing with tornadoes. My prayers are with them. It just blows me away, how we hear and see what the tornadoes did to the people, but not to many news media's are telling you, how you can get involved to help out. These people live in the same country, as most of us, and I don't see any relief helping. Let's help out our neighbors:  https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?idb=773036675&df_id=4993&4993.donation=form1&gclid=CJaF4Zy01q4CFQdN4AodJyGllQ

If we were in their position, we would be looking for help.

I would like to say thank you to Rohit Singh Jain. I look forward to reading your blog.

Be good to one another. Tomorrow's not promised.

Peace